New Families Welcome

Monday, August 24, 2026
by Elizabeth H. Bradley, President

Welcome Families and Friends of the Class of 2030! So nice to greet you all in this magnificent space at the launch of your student’s college journey!

Let me begin with a huge congratulations to YOU. You have successfully navigated the college application and entry process and can savor the sweet success of your student being at Vassar where the academic work will be challenging, where they will make new friends and even people they will call “family,” and where they will leave equipped to lead meaningful lives of engagement, learning, and growth.

It seems like your emotional state, therefore, should be strictly joyous. But of course, it may not be that simple. My husband John (of 40 years this month) and I have three adult children. We have been through the college drop-off with each of them, and while joy was in there, it was sprinkled with a bit of anxiety, fear, and sadness as well. So, if you are feeling a little unsettled right now, give yourself a break. Transitions are hard and today marks a beautiful, but still substantial, transition.

What I have to share with you does not come from 30 years of parenting my own children but rather from decades of living on college campuses. I have lived right here next to the Chapel in the President’s House since 2017, when I started as Vassar’s president, and before that I lived on campus as head of college at Yale. So, I have seen a lot with students and student-parent interactions. And from these years of experience, I want to share some learnings.

The main wisdom I have to impart is that your role as parent is changing and it should change. Your child is now an adult. And your role, as the parent of an adult, is no longer to be the problem solver, counselor/advisor, or even the one giving permission. Those have been (past tense) important roles—and you have played them well, but now, a new role is far more important although it may seem less gratifying at first. This role is one of invited presence, or accompaniment, one in which you will be available when contacted by your student, will listen with openness and attention, and will refrain from judgement or giving advice. In this new role, you must check your natural instinct to solve their problems for them. This is difficult. And your students may be complicit in making this even more difficult for you. They may call or text you and tell you “Everything is wrong. My room is a mess and my roommate is never around, I don’t have any friends, everyone else is better at math, and my English teacher hates the way I write.” They will sound like they want your help. They may even ask for your advice. Resist this temptation!! Do not give them advice. They may even cry, which of course is going to make you cry. But you must restrain yourself.

Instead, be present; that’s all—no solutions, no advice what to do, just accompaniment. So, when they ask you “what should I do?” or when you feel the impulse to give them a suggestion, take a breath. Even if your student asks you how to solve a problem, what they really need is something different. They need you to listen and ask questions that prompt their deeper thinking. Some helpful prompts that signal your presence might be: “What are the tradeoffs you are thinking about?” or “How are you feeling about the choices?” or simply, “Hmm, that’s interesting, tell me more about it.” This is so hard—because all we really want to do is make them feel better. But the ability to do that on their own, with you accompanying by your presence but letting them research the options and make their own choices, is absolutely critical. This is integral to the movement from adolescence to young adulthood, and you intervening to solve problems can stall that development.

During this next year and the three that follow, your young adults will be preparing themselves to be fully independent, making decisions aligned with their own emerging views and voices. Some of these emerging views and habits may be distressing to you. They may choose paths that are not what you would choose for them. But it is time. It is their moment to define themselves, to try on different ways of being, to explore new ideas and endure the consequences of their choices.

Last, after I have scared you, I want to give you some reassuring news. Almost everyone graduates! And 94 percent of students have jobs, fellowships, or graduate school acceptances within 6 months of graduation. I also want to assure you that we have a residential and academic system here that will support your young adult fully. Particularly, in these difficult and polarizing times, we are committed to student safety. Living in the residential houses, we have student fellows, house advisors (who are administrators), and house fellows (who are faculty) who your students may access for just about anything. We have a wonderful academic advising system through the Dean of Studies office led by Dean Porcello. And a host of other deans and directors who can support your student at every turn. And I am here as well; students know they can reach out to me directly, and I can connect them to support as needed. I also always have a lot of chocolate available, which can help.

I want to close by thanking you for sharing your student with us for these four years, and I am committed to doing everything we can to ensure the time is fruitful, challenging, and life-changing in all the best ways.

We know that we will face difficulties, and we are dedicated to responding to make students’ experiences better. My hope for this year is that we will strengthen many capacities—the capacity to think outside the box, to see the world from new perspectives, to care for one another in new ways, and to trust in community. These are bedrock skills, which are fundamental to a liberal arts education and will equip your young adults to lead meaningful lives together.

Please be in touch if you have questions; you can always reach me by emailing me at: EBradley@Vassar.edu.

Welcome to the Vassar family!